If your boyfriend or girlfriend really cares for you, they will want the BEST for you. Pressuring you to do something you don’t feel ready for is NOT the BEST for you. Sex has life-long consequences including pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Dealing with those consequences is NOT the BEST for you.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend is pressuring you to have sex, it’s time to talk to them. It’s important to realize these things:
Just because they say “I love you” doesn’t mean that they mean it.
- “I love you” are just words. Yes, they are powerful words that can really make you feel good if the other person means it. However, unless the other person’s actions or behaviors silently say “I love you” as well, it’s possible that person is trying to manipulate you by appealing to your emotions. Check out “Is it Love?” for more on love.
It’s your responsibility to communicate your boundaries in a relationship.
- You’re not dating a mind reader. Your boyfriend or girlfriend can’t know how far is too far unless you tell them. The best time to communicate your boundaries is before you get into a situation where you might be pressured. What is a boundary? A boundary is simply a line that you don’t want to cross. Maybe your boundary is french kissing. Maybe it’s earlier than that. YOU decide your boundary, and YOU have to communicate your boundaries for them to be respected.
If they are pressuring you to do something you don’t want to do, they don’t really want what is best for you.
- Maybe this means you need to break up. If they are constantly pressuring you to have sex even after you have told them no, then they probably don’t have your best interests in mind. Maybe you just need to communicate your boundaries and make sure your boyfriend or girlfriend knows how the pressure makes you feel. If they aren’t willing to listen or stop pressuring you, then you need to decide if they really want what’s best for you.